This episode of SHLTMM is the true story of a baby that was brought to The Hospital for the Maintenance and Education of Exposed and Deserted Young Children, outside of London, just prior to WWII. This baby girl, this foundling, is the mother of my guest, author and attorney, Justine Cowan. Justine's memoir, "The Secret Life Of Dorothy Soames," published in 2021, is heartbreaking yet evidence of ones ability to survive the unconscionable but not without eventual signs of trauma. It took years for my guest to unravel her mother's true past and sift through all the lies. But in writing this story, because of all the truths she uncovered, my guest has a different understanding of who her mother truly was.
"Dorothy" was the name that the institution assigned to this new born baby girl that had been dropped off at this facility by the unmarried biological mother. At this time, there was unprecedented prejudice against illegitimate children and unwed mothers. This facility was government run and theoretically a highly regarded home for foundlings from the ages of 5 to 12 years old. At which point they were to have trained the children who were not returned to their families, with skills in order for them to be placed in homes as house maids, servants, etc. The environment that shaped Dorothy was brutal. Justine shares stories of her mom's experience of being pushed in the pool and held under the water before she even knew how to swim. Often her mother and other children were locked up in cupboards or closets, in the dark with no food or water for days on end. Physical, emotional and psychological abuse certainly took a toll on this young girls life. One that she never was fully able to recover from.
Justine, shares the stories of her experience growing up in California with her mother and father. Dorothy presented as sophisticated, upper class, a well educated woman. All that Justine knew was that her mother was of British Royalty. My guest grew up taking lessons for this and that, and yet never once met any of her so called "English Royalty" relatives. Her home was absolutely beautiful, the finest of everything imaginable, except perhaps, happiness.
On Justine's journey to retrace her mother's steps and visiting the institution, which now exists as a museum, she was able to see all the letters that her maternal grandmother had been writing on a regular basis, to the institution inquiring about her beautiful baby girl. In response, the administration would respond with a non committal letter with very little information.
Dorothy suffered tremendously from the abuse she had endured all those years. It's so unfortunate that it was kept a secret until after her death.
"The Secret Life of Dorothy Soames" is a brilliant memoir, one of which should help us use this experience in order to help others struggling with emotional and mental illness.
Justine had to distance herself from her mom and all the years of living with someone with mental illness, before she could read her mother's life story. "By reading my grandmother's letters, I realized that there was a trait that my mother had, my mother had and that I have and that's tenacity, " says Cowan proudly. "Plowing through difficulties and not giving up."
Social Media for Justing Cowan:
WEBSITE: https://www.justinecowan.com/
IG:justinecowanauthor
TWITTER: @_JustineCowan
FB: JUSTINE COWAN