This episode of SHLTMM, guest, Stephen Schettini is joining me from Montreal, Canada. He's here to share stories of his mother, Gwenda, who had an unconventional life. Stephen is and author, former Buddhist Monk and Ted X Speaker. Gwenda, living North of London, was an acrobatic dancer who wanted to join the circus. Just so happens that Stephen's father got his start in doing road side acts to make a some money, with lions, snakes and alligators in South America along with his cousin. His parents eventually met in 1939 just prior to WWII in Europe.
Gwenda, short for Gwendoline, convinced her father to let her go into the circus as long as she got an official job or "booking." She did not want to get a traditional job such as working in the postal service, as her father had dreamed she'd do.
Gwenda and her mother were very very close but unfortunately her mother died way too early.
In spite of her parents, Gwenda became a Catholic. She fell in love with Stephen's father who was Italian and catholic.Well he had already abandoned the Catholic church by the time they met, but she was certain she could convince this enthusiastic atheist to come back to the church. And she was a success on both fronts.
Stephen did not enjoy his experience being raised in the Catholic church and schools. As a young boy Stephen struggles with anxiety, stealing from local vendors, fights and more.
Gwenda was a storyteller and that's one of manny gifts she gave to Stephen. Years later when Stephen was teaching Mindfulness lessons she came to some of his teachings.
Stephen left home in order to find himself. This journey had experiences of exploring Catholicism, Marxism, drugs, Buddhism, Mindfulness, compassion and more.
Years later while raising her children, Gwenda used the expression "never mind" when Stephen would come to her hurt or upset. She was say "never mind" and offer a smile and have them move on. Stephen was looking for more than that from his mother.
My guest trained as a Buddhist Monk in the Tibetan tradition for eight years. To this day he still uses and teaches his practice and he enjoys applying his practice to real life situations and can help others without them knowing it's a Buddhist technique.
I was looking for something but more importantly I was leaving behind stuff, everything," Stephen explains. Stephen asked his mother years later, why she hadn't protected him more from his father when he was younger . "She was angry at me for asking that, she was angry at herself. She thought she'd done what she could. She was protecting herself as well."
After reading Stephan's first draft of his book, "The Novice, Why I Became a Buddhist Monk", Gwenda said "Don't you think it would have been nice if we'd listened to you a little more when you were young?" Stephen got very emotional. Their relationship changed so much for the better after that. She was acknowledging that they could have done more. That was what I wanted to hear.
Gwenda had a big heart.
Bio:
Stephen has a fascinating story that could offer a unique perspective. His journey, shaped by both his mother and his unconventional upbringing, has deeply influenced his life and work. Growing up in a challenging environment, Stephen learned lessons from his family and from overcoming obstacles, which he now shares through his coaching and mindfulness framework. His story isn’t just about overcoming adversity but also about the lessons learned along the way, including how his relationship with his family, especially his mother, shaped his journey to becoming a Buddhist monk and later a TEDx speaker.
I believe his experiences of both struggling with and learning from his upbringing would provide a heartfelt and insightful conversation for your listeners, touching on themes of resilience, personal growth, and how those early life lessons shaped the person he is today.
BOOKS:
The Novice-Why I Became a Buddhist Monk, Why I Quit & What I Learned By Stephen Schettini
It Begins Silence-the art of mindful reflection-Al Practical Guide to Meditation based on the teachings of the
Historical Buddha By Stephen Schettini
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X: Stephen Schettini
WEBSITE: THEINNERMONK.COM (https://schettini.com/)