Shayna Barksdale, LCSW-C (Licensed Certified Social Worker-Clinical) and her mother, Kappie are my guests this week. Between the two women they have over 60 years experience as counselors/therapists and that's not including Kappie's mom, Shayna's maternal grandmother, who completed her Masters in Education in the 1940's. Kappie was a guidance counselor in Shayna's high school and new all of Shayna's friends. Women who are helping others through life's challenges with grace and support.
Shayna is the founder of "Austin Therapy For Girls" in Austin, TX. She lives next door to her mother Kappie. My guests talk about their similarities and differences through out our conversation. And they both are very keen on helping young ladies figure out/work around all of life's stressors, especially beginning with the tween and teen years.
"Pink Chaos-Navigating the Mother-Daughter Relationship with your Tween" is Shayna's book which helps mothers and daughters navigate the tween years. Shayna felt that tween girls need as much help and support as teens, but weren't getting the acknowledgement that they deserved. Tween age range is between 9-12 years of age.
Both women agree that they have a special connection, unlike most mother/daughter relationships because " concern for other people connect us in a way that is different from a lot of mother's and daughters," says Kappie. "This is a value that we are sharing" continues Shayna- "always taking care of people."
During her teen years, Shayna was wildly influenced by Madonna and her music. It was boldly reflected in the way she dressed and expressed herself which Kappie was happy that her daughter was expressing her self creativity.
Shayna and her sister were "latch-key" kids because their mom was working full time. They kept themselves preoccupied with arts and craft projects such as Shrinky Dinks and more.
When I asked Shayna if she felt her mom had any superpowers she said, "she loved and took care of all of her students, her daughters, worked long hours and still had dinner on the table almost every night."
"An education is something no one can take away from you," is what Kappie's mom reinforced throughout Kappie's childhood. Kappie was getting the message very early on in life about the significance of independence, be your own person, make your own way and don't necessarily be dependent on anyone else."
In Shayna's book and her practice, she offers a wealth of information that can be worked on at home between moms and daughters. It begins with the correct means of communication, doing things together that both have in common, getting to know what your daughter is truly interested, including getting to see what your daughter's algorithm on her phone is if you don't know already.
One statistic that I was shocked to hear is that girls confidence plummets by age of 9!
If you go to Shayna's website "PINKCHAOS.COM" you can take a short quiz to find out which on-screen mother daughter duo you are.
In her book, Shayna talks about how you can teach your daughter the importance of self love, embracing self love-encourage her to speak to herself with kindness and compassion and lots more.
Some topics/issues that Shayna can help parents/girls with include building resilience, effective communication, promoting self worth, supporting friendships, navigating girl world, emotional regulation calming the chaos and embracing individuality.
SHAYNA BARKSDALE'S SOCIAL MEDIA:
FACEBOOK: @AustinTherapyforGirls
INSTAGRAM: @AustinTherapyforGirls
WEBSITE: austintherapyforgirls.com and/or Pinkchaos.com